A Journey (part 4)--- Secondary Infertility

I am slowly catching everyone up to where we currently are on our journey towards expanding our family. If you haven't read parts 1, 2, or 3 you can do so by clicking on the tab above labeled "a journey" or by clicking here.  Today, I am going to copy and paste an entry below that I wrote back in August of 2013.

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 Today is August 22, 2013. What was the result of the pregnancy test(s) I took two weeks ago? BFN- also known as- big fat negative. After over a year of negative pregnancy tests, I need to insert some humor here so I don't cry :D 

I've been doing a little research, and I learned that the word infertility (not to be confused with the word infertile) means not being able to become pregnant after 12 or more months of trying...also this includes women who become pregnant, but miscarry or have stillbirths. 

Secondary infertility (a word I had never heard of until today) means difficulty becoming pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term, after 12 months or more of trying, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications. (info from National Infertility Association). Secondary infertility- finally, a word to describe what I have been going through. I don't know why, but it feels good to know that there is a word for it, and that apparently, I'm not the only one going through this! As of now, almost September of 2013, we have been TTC for 15 months. I know this is nothing compared to what some people go through, but infertility is a lot harder than I thought it would be!

I've told a few people that we've been trying to get pregnant for over a year, and several of them have responded the same way (I'm not saying this is a bad response- I think it's very normal-and I know they are just trying to make me feel better and I love them for that!).... They've responded by saying something along the lines of: "At least you already have one!"  True. I am VERY grateful that I have Kyler. I love him so much! I can't imagine my life without him! I'm so grateful that I got to experience pregnancy, and bringing him into this world! That being said...it also makes it extremely difficult. I know what I am missing out on, and I want to experience it again! Kind of like a favorite candy (or favorite food, favorite vacation spot etc). People may have told you how awesome this candy tastes or how wonderful a vacation spot is...but you didn't know you loved it so much until you had tried it, and experienced it...then you REALLY wanted it again...even more so than if you had never had it before. Okay, I really don't want that last sentence to come across the wrong way. I am definitely not saying that I'm struggling more than women who have never experienced a pregnancy/birth. It must be extra scary/difficult for them, and I sympathize so much! Really, my heart goes out to them more than ever before.  I'm just trying to explain how already having one baby, doesn't make this trial non existent. I feel like infertility (and secondary infertility and any other trial really) is a trial that you can never fully understand until you've experienced it.

That being said, I can think of several other trials that I would consider far more devastating than secondary infertility, and I'm counting my blessings that this is my biggest challenge. I have so much to be thankful for. Focusing on the things that I do have, helps keep my mind off of the things that I don't have.

I went to another doctor's appointment today. My OB said again that he thinks I might have Endometriosis, but rather than dealing with that right now (I would have to go into surgery for that to be officially diagnosed) he would rather focus on getting me pregnant. Sounds good to me! Apparently Endometriosis goes away during pregnancy, and can be controlled with birth control pills after pregnancy.

Also, at my appointment, my OB was concerned about my irregular cycles (sometimes months go by without one). I found it strange that he was concerned, because I've always had irregular cycles and all my previous OBs told me that it was nothing to worry about. Also, I've already gotten pregnant twice even having irregular cycles, so I guess I assumed it wouldn't be a problem this 3rd time around, but it makes sense.

So, because of irregular cycles my OB proscribed me a fertility prescription called Clomid, which basically "tricks" your body into producing more hormones that promt ovulation. I will start out by taking 50mg of Clomid next cycle. If it does not result in a pregnancy, we will begin doing some testing, and I may be referred to a fertility specialist in a few months. Either way, I'm happy that we are finally taking action!

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Current day Char here. This is so interesting to me- looking back on previous months, and seeing where we were on our journey, and how far we've come. I'm not going to lie- the last two paragraphs make me laugh. Only because...well... I guess you will find out as you continue reading about our journey :D  I'll put another post up soon!