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Today is March 5, 2014. This has been the longest two week wait of my life! I'm SO glad it is half way over now. I just want to know if I'm pregnant or not! I'm feeling kind of down right now. I consulted Dr. Internet (such a good thing to do when you are worried) and now I feel like there is a good chance that this IUI is not going to work...but I'm still hoping it does anyway!
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Today is March 14, 2014. The results are in......and my pregnancy test is BFN. Negative pregnancy test after negative...for nearly two years now! This one is especially hard for me though. The fertility medications gave me 3 eggs. I had ultrasounds, blood work, and a shot to trigger ovulation. My husband had great SA results. We had those swimmers inserted through the cervix so that they were past my endometriosis and literally as close to the eggs as they could be. Yet....I'm not pregnant.
As disappointed as I am, I do find great comfort through prayer, and I have faith that things will work out in the Lord's timing and ways. My relationship with my Heavenly Father and testimony of His church on the earth today have grown so much through this infertility journey. I truly believe that even the most bitter trials can become sweet through prayer. I've felt the peace that was given to each of us as a gift through Christ's Atonement, and it has been a blessing in my life. To quote Elder Henry B. Eyring: "It is a gift we are promised when the Atonement of Jesus Christ has worked in us. The gift is to want what He wants. When our love is the love He feels, it is pure because He is pure...When we pray for the gifts of the Spirit -and we should- one for which I pray is that I might have pure motives, to want what our Father wants for His children and for me, and to feel, as well as to say, that what I want is His will to be done" (Eyring, LDS Ensign 2007).
I am so deeply sorry, you and Jared are always in my prayers and I know that this too shall pass. As you have said Heavenly Father has great things planned in store for you and Jared we just have to let him give it to us at the right time. I love you!!
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry this didn't work for you :( Reading the post before this everything seemed to be going so well. It's so scarey because we are about to do the same thing and I am so fearful it won't work. You are in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteI always find comfort too when I think of things in the Lord's perspective. You're awesome Char!
ReplyDeleteIt is a tough tough journey. I am in my 2WW (my last IUI 2WW before we move to IVF). I saw a bunch of pregnancy books and just wanted to throw them at the store window. Lol. Hormones getting the better of me, but when you try and try and try, and you just don't know, it starts to really get to you. Especially when you think it hasn't worked :( big hugs. Just know - they are getting your meds right - so now you can move forward knowing you have a good response. It still is only a 20% chance per cycle - but getting the right response is what is so important.
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